As the calendar turned to January 1, 2026, author and teacher Nanditesh Nilay chose a deeply personal medium to address the universal anxieties of parenting and growing up. He penned an open letter, framed as a New Year's note to his son, who is poised to enter the ninth grade. This poignant message, first published at 07:56 AM IST, transcends a single family's conversation, echoing the silent hopes and written and unwritten counsel of parents everywhere.
The Core Questions for a Generation
Nilay, who is also the author of books like 'Being Good' and 'Ethikos', structures his guidance around five fundamental Socratic questions. He positions himself not as a lecturer but as a companion walking alongside his child. The journey ahead, marked by board exams, career choices, and increasing societal noise, demands an internal compass. The letter urges the young to proactively define their path by pondering: What should our habits be? What kind of person do you wish to remain? What will be your values? Why do we need to study? And, is it worth it to remain a good human being?
Building Identity Through Discernment and Virtue
The heart of Nilay's advice lies in practical wisdom for daily living. He emphasizes that habits quietly decide both the present and the future, advocating for a life beyond the smartphone screen through play, non-syllabus reading, and family travel. These experiences, he notes, create cherished memories, like a photograph with a sibling in a mountain park.
On character, he argues that personality is shaped by virtues like truthfulness and self-discipline. He provides a clear, actionable framework for ethical discernment: "Right is what you can share without fear with your parents, sister, grandparents and juniors. Wrong is what you would never want to pass on. And 'not right' is that dangerous space justified by 'only once'." The ability to tell these apart, he states, will become one's core identity.
Values in a Noisy World and the Purpose of Education
In a world obsessed with material measures of success, Nilay urges his son to measure himself by values like trust, care, and courage. He connects these values directly to one's worth and impact. On education, he reframes it as a profound opportunity, not merely a race for percentages. He asks his son to study hard also for those who never got the chance to access books, uniforms, or classrooms.
A crucial concept he introduces is "Sangat" or association. He explains the virtuous cycle where habits lead to virtues, virtues to values, values to ethics, and ethics circle back to reinforce habits. Choosing one's company wisely, therefore, becomes paramount.
The Timeless Courage of Goodness
Addressing the final question on the worth of being good, Nilay recalls a letter he wrote to his daughter. He defined a good person as one who helps without hesitation and avoids arrogance and jealousy, stressing that goodness is never weak and has always walked hand-in-hand with courage, from Vivekananda to Gandhi. He offers himself as a firm yet soft wall of support for his children.
Concluding, Nilay finds comfort that his note resonates with the universal sentiment of all parents. He also references the Prime Minister's early advice about speaking to sons, not just lecturing daughters. Acknowledging that his teen son may know more than he did at 14, he humorously asks for forgiveness if his words sound like an old man's rant, claiming a father's privilege to have one or two.
