In a candid conversation, actor Soha Ali Khan has revealed a charming yet telling anecdote about her mother, veteran star Sharmila Tagore, and the subtle pressures of maintaining appearances in a relationship. The revelation came during a podcast episode featuring actor Sonakshi Sinha, sparking a deeper discussion on emotional security versus physical attraction in modern partnerships.
The Revealing Anecdote: Sharmila Tagore's Early Morning Ritual
Soha Ali Khan shared that she feels completely at ease being makeup-free in front of her husband, actor Kunal Khemu. "I am very comfortable in front of Kunal with no makeup," she stated. This comfort, however, stood in stark contrast to the experience of her mother, Sharmila Tagore, in the early days of her marriage to the legendary cricketer Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi.
Recounting her mother's story, Soha explained, "My mother told me that when she got married, she used to wake up before my father and put on a little bit of makeup. Then she would go back to sleep." The reason behind this pre-dawn ritual was the perceived pressure of living up to her iconic image. "He was like, 'She is Sharmila Tagore,' and he should wake up to seeing Sharmila Tagore for a brief period of time," Soha added, highlighting the expectation to present a perfected version of oneself.
Modern Perspectives: Sonakshi Sinha on Attraction Beyond Looks
Pondering this generational difference, Soha then turned to her co-host, Sonakshi Sinha, and asked, "Do you think things like that, the effort, in terms of attraction, matter?"
Sonakshi reflected on her own relationship, emphasizing that for her, attraction extends far beyond physical appearance. "I actually don't think about it. At least for us, it goes beyond looks," she said. She elaborated that she is drawn to her partner for his inherent qualities and the way he makes her feel, aspects that are enduring. "These are things that don't go away, unless he intentionally decides to be not nice to me," she noted.
She also highlighted her partner's role in bolstering her self-esteem, regardless of her physical state. "He's someone who has always made me feel confident, no matter what size I am or how I look," Sonakshi shared. She gave an example of him taking unflattering pictures, only to affirm, "I find you so beautiful in that moment," even when she felt she looked like "an absolute wreck."
Expert Insight: Why Emotional Safety is the True Foundation
Commenting on this dynamic, Sonal Khangarot, a licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist at The Answer Room, provided a psychological perspective. She interpreted Sharmila Tagore's gesture not as vanity, but as a "symbolic act of care."
"Relationship psychology shows that small, consistent efforts create a sense of being valued," Khangarot explained. "When partners feel someone is willing to go 'a little extra' for them, the brain registers safety, appreciation, and closeness, deepening long-term attraction." However, she crucially added that such gestures "should come from choice, not pressure." When rooted in healthy self-esteem, they enhance both partners' confidence and emotional security.
Khangarot stressed that while physical appeal might spark initial interest, the pillars of a lasting relationship are emotional. "The qualities that keep a partnership strong are emotional safety, shared values, kindness, and the way partners make each other feel," she said. These elements build the trust and stability needed to navigate life's challenges together. Over time, the bond deepens through a partner's temperament, emotional presence, and consistency more than their looks.
The expert also underscored the power of affirmation. "When a partner consistently reflects acceptance, it helps reduce self-criticism and builds a stable sense of worth," she stated. This unconditional positive reinforcement fosters a secure attachment, allowing both individuals to be their authentic selves without fear of judgment.
In conclusion, Khangarot affirmed that thriving relationships are built not on perfection, but on "these everyday micro-moments of love, intention, and warmth." The conversation, initiated by Soha Ali Khan's personal revelation, ultimately circles back to a universal truth: in the long run, feeling seen, valued, and safe emotionally matters infinitely more than waking up to a perfectly made-up face.
