Rethinking Success: A Millennial Parent's Journey from Academic Pressure to Emotional Intelligence
When Yuvika Abrol reflects on her own childhood, she recognizes a familiar pattern. "I ticked all the right boxes," she recalls. "I did well academically, I danced, I sang, I participated. I was the classic 'all-rounder'. It looked impressive." However, with the wisdom of age and hindsight, her perspective has shifted dramatically. She was proficient in many areas but lacked exceptional excellence in any single one. This realization has profoundly shaped how she parents her daughter, Inaaya.
Moving Beyond the Report Card: Redefining What Matters
Yuvika's approach to parenting is not about dismissing academic achievement entirely. "I don't dislike marks, but I don't over-glorify them," she explains. She has consciously stopped allowing grades to define her child's worth. While marks can facilitate progression to the next class, institution, or opportunity, she believes their importance is often exaggerated in today's world. What she prioritizes far more is Inaaya's mental well-being and emotional intelligence.
"I see how much EQ matters in real life," Yuvika emphasizes. Emotional intelligence encompasses how individuals manage stress, respond to failure, communicate effectively, and build meaningful relationships. These skills, though not measured on any report card, are constantly tested throughout life and quietly determine the quality of one's adulthood.
Practical Parenting: Choosing Depth Over Overload
This philosophy translates into everyday decisions. For instance, Inaaya's school curriculum includes four languages: English, French, Hindi, and Marathi. While Yuvika respects the educational structure, she critically assesses long-term relevance. "What will really matter in the long run?" she asks herself. She consciously focuses more on English and one additional language where reading, writing, and expression will be crucial later in life. For the other languages, she is content with basic communicative proficiency without demanding writing mastery. This approach ensures exposure to all four languages without imposing the pressure to master each one perfectly.
Instead of pushing her daughter to excel equally in every subject, Yuvika advocates for depth over overload. She believes in going deep into fewer areas rather than skimming superficially across many. This strategy aims to foster genuine understanding and passion rather than spreading efforts too thin.
Breaking Generational Patterns: Lessons from Millennial Upbringing
As a millennial parent, Yuvika is deeply influenced by her own upbringing. "Many of us were taught to quietly tolerate pressure," she reflects. Questioning, discussing difficulties, or expressing struggles were often discouraged. Marks became a measure of personal worth, and obedience was equated with respect. Passion frequently took a backseat, not due to a lack of interests, but because pursuing them felt risky. Many millennials followed academic paths dictated by parental expectations, driven by fear of disappointment. Years later, numerous individuals changed career tracks, finally acknowledging that their true passions lay elsewhere.
This personal history remains with Yuvika and directly informs her parenting style. She has completely eliminated comparisons with others in her household. Conversations never revolve around who scored higher; instead, they focus solely on Inaaya's personal journey. When marks fluctuate, the discussion centers on how she studied, not what she scored.
Redefining Progress: Beyond Linear Academic Metrics
A concrete example illustrates this mindset. In mathematics, Inaaya scored 29 out of 30 in one term and 25 out of 30 in the next. On paper, this appears as a decline. However, Yuvika observed something more significant. "The second time, she studied more deeply. She understood concepts better. She asked questions. There was less fear and more clarity," she notes. To her, this represents genuine improvement, demonstrating that progress is not always linear.
This focus on real skills—consistency, patience, and perseverance—is central to Yuvika's parenting. She points to contemporary success stories: many content creators, designers, startup founders, consultants, and chefs were average students academically. What propelled them forward was not marks but sustained dedication and deep interest in a specific field. They remained committed to one pursuit long enough to achieve mastery.
The High Cost of Pressure: Protecting Confidence and Self-Worth
Millennials have witnessed firsthand how constant pressure and comparison can erode confidence and self-worth. This generation has experienced burnout and silent suffering due to a lack of safe spaces for open discussion. Consequently, Yuvika believes that a strong parent-child relationship and high emotional intelligence are far more valuable than a high IQ.
"Marks may open doors, but mental well-being decides how far a child can walk once inside," she asserts. While she hopes for Inaaya to excel and be outstanding in something, she is adamant that this excellence should not come at the cost of her peace. She does not want her daughter to chase everything; instead, she encourages her to discover genuine interests. When that discovery occurs, Yuvika promises full support.
For Yuvika Abrol, this balanced approach—prioritizing emotional intelligence, mental well-being, and depth of learning over academic pressure and superficial achievements—represents the essence of thoughtful, modern parenting.
