Fashion designer Masaba Gupta has spoken candidly about rejecting the societal stigma often attached to divorce, questioning why a personal life choice is turned into a public spectacle. In a revealing conversation on tennis star Sania Mirza's podcast, 'Serving It Up With Sania', the entrepreneur reflected on the intense scrutiny she faced after her separation from former husband Madhu Mantena.
A Personal Choice, Not a Public Spectacle
Gupta, who was 28 at the time of her divorce, expressed bewilderment at the public's reaction. "When I got divorced, I was like, 'What? What's the big deal? I'm making a life choice'", she shared. She emphasized that while divorce is a tumultuous process, it can also be a necessary step for personal well-being. "We are not encouraging divorce, it's a lot of turmoil, but it saves you from a lot of things in life," Gupta clarified, addressing the common misconception that something must be inherently wrong with a woman who chooses to end her marriage.
Sania Mirza echoed these sentiments, highlighting regional biases. "In this part of the world, people think the 'D word' is something dangerous. They think you were not focusing on your home, because you were busy out in the world trying to achieve something," Mirza stated, pointing to the gendered criticism successful women often face.
The Persistent Taboo and Its Gendered Impact
Clinical Psychologist Mehezabin Dordi from Sir HN Reliance Foundation Hospital confirms that divorce remains a significant taboo in Indian society. This is evident from India's notably low divorce rates globally. "Society's judgmental behaviour is leading couples to stay in unhappy marriages risking their emotional and physical well-being to avoid judgement," Dordi told indianexpress.com.
She explained that the burden of this stigma falls disproportionately on women. Women often face harsher societal judgment during divorce, particularly regarding their roles as wives and mothers. They endure more criticism for perceived failures to maintain a marriage. Traditional gender roles, which closely associate women with the maintenance of family and home, play a significant part in this disparity. While men are also judged, they generally face less intense scrutiny.
Dordi acknowledged a gradual shift in societal views over the years, marked by increasing divorce rates and more open discourse. However, she cautioned that in many cultures and communities, significant stigma persists, and traditional views continue to shape opinions.
The Crucial Role of Support Systems
Kruti Shah, a clinical psychologist at Mpower, Aditya Birla Education Trust, emphasized the importance of a strong support network, especially from parents, during the difficult transition of a divorce. "I often tell parents, 'Children cope best not when life is perfect, but when they feel truly seen and supported'," she said.
Shah outlined key ways to provide support: creating an open space for feelings, acknowledging fears, and staying emotionally present. This approach can significantly reduce feelings of shame and confusion. She also advised managing personal stress, maintaining consistent routines, and gently challenging social stigmas to help individuals feel grounded. Seeking timely professional help is crucial if someone begins to feel overwhelmed.
The conversation initiated by public figures like Masaba Gupta and Sania Mirza is vital in normalizing divorce as a legitimate, and sometimes necessary, life decision, moving the needle towards a more empathetic and less judgmental society.
