Bollywood personality Malaika Arora has delivered a powerful and candid reflection on the intense personal scrutiny she endured following her decision to end her marriage. Speaking on a podcast, the actor and entrepreneur addressed the glaring double standards in how society treats men versus women navigating divorce.
Facing Judgement from All Sides
Malaika Arora, who separated from actor Arbaaz Khan in 2016 and finalised their divorce in 2017, revealed that the criticism was not limited to public gossip. It came from within her own circle. She faced significant backlash and questioning from friends and family about her life choices during that period. Despite the pressure, Arora stands firmly by her decision.
"I have no regrets," she stated emphatically. "I didn't know what was in store for me. I didn't know what lay ahead. But I knew at that point, I needed to make that move in my life. I felt it was important for me to be happy." She highlighted the common societal pushback against women prioritising their own well-being, noting how people often question, "How can you put your happiness first?"
The Unfair Double Standard in a Patriarchal Society
Arora pointed out the stark contrast in societal reactions based on gender. Choices that are often normalised or overlooked for men become subjects of intense scrutiny and finger-pointing when made by women. "Unfortunately, those questions are never asked. Those eyebrows are never raised," she said, attributing this bias to deep-seated patriarchal norms.
"There is never any judgment when it comes to certain aspects in the case of men. Unfortunately, women have to bear the brunt of it daily," Arora explained. She added that a woman who steps away from conventional expectations is quickly labelled as "no longer the ideal woman." However, she sees a silver lining: "But if you move away from that and make a life, set an example, then you're doing something right."
Psychological Impact and the Roots of Social Judgement
While divorce may be more common today, the emotional toll of constant questioning, especially from loved ones, remains heavy. Psychologist Dr. Sakshi Mandhyan, founder of Mandhyan Care, explains why women face harsher judgement. "I see this as deeply rooted in social conditioning," she states. Women are often raised with the expectation of "relational responsibility," where their value is tied to endurance and adjustment.
Dr. Mandhyan notes that when a woman chooses divorce, it violates prescriptive gender norms. This disruption of the familiar social order creates anxiety for others, which is then projected onto the woman making the choice. "The harshness is rarely about morality. It is about fear of social change," she asserts, adding that social rejection activates the brain's threat system, similar to physical pain.
This relentless scrutiny has a cumulative effect on mental health. Women can become hyper-aware, leading to a prolonged state of stress with elevated cortisol levels, affecting sleep and emotional regulation. To cope, Dr. Mandhyan advises recognising that the distress is a biological nervous system response, not proof of a wrong decision. Confidence rebuilds when the brain learns that social disapproval does not lead to actual danger, allowing self-respect to eventually replace the need for external approval.
Malaika Arora's journey underscores a continuing societal challenge, highlighting the personal courage required for women to choose their own path amidst outdated but persistent double standards.
