An Indonesian proverb holds a mirror to the natural asymmetry of family love: "Kasih ibu sepanjang jalan, kasih anak sepanjang penggalan" — translated as "A mother's love is a long road, a child's love is a short stick." This poignant image captures a universal truth that many recognize but hesitate to voice.
The Brutal Truth of the Loop
The power of this wisdom lies in its lack of judgment. It does not condemn the child or pity the mother. Instead, it observes the natural flow of generations and states facts plainly. Life inherently pulls children in many directions — careers, friendships, romantic partners, and personal ambitions. A mother's love, however, operates on a different frequency. It is the steady, unmoving infrastructure of a child's life. It does not rely on a scoreboard, demand a return on investment, or clock out when things become inconvenient.
A child's love fluctuates based on their schedule. This is not a betrayal; it is the messy reality of growing up and building a separate life.
Breaking Down the Imbalance
The Infrastructure vs. The Highlights: A mother's care is woven into the mundane background noise of life — quiet worries, meals, background prayers. A child's love usually appears in the highlights: holiday visits, birthday gifts, or frantic phone calls during crises.
The Transaction Myth: Modern culture obsesses over equal exchange, but love does not always work on a 50/50 split. A mother's love is a gift never asked for and never fully repayable.
The Awakening: Reading this should not trigger toxic guilt. Instead, it is a gentle wake-up call to notice the safety net provided for free.
To the Children
Nobody expects you to perfectly replicate an endless road. You cannot. But you can stop treating that road as a given. You do not have to be perfect; you just have to be aware. Send the text. Answer the call. Listen without checking your watch.
To the Others
It can feel like a lonely, thankless gig when absolute devotion is met with distracted, short-burst affection. But that love is not disappearing into a void. It is the literal, unshakeable floor your children stand on while navigating the world.
At the end of the day, some forms of love are sacred precisely because they are unbalanced. The goal is not to force the road and the fraction to match perfectly. It is to honor the horizon that never ends and deeply cherish the hands that keep reaching back.
