The Lost Art of Listening: Thirukkural's Timeless Wisdom for Modern Communication
In an era dominated by constant chatter and instant opinions, the ancient Tamil masterpiece Thirukkural offers profound insights into the art of meaningful communication. Written by the revered poet-philosopher Thiruvalluvar over two millennia ago, this ethical guide consists of 1,330 concise couplets, each containing exactly seven words of wisdom.
The Structure and Significance of Thirukkural
The text is systematically divided into three fundamental books: Aram (virtue), Porul (wealth), and Inbam (love). Considered one of humanity's greatest works on ethics and morality, the Kural has influenced scholars, leaders, and thinkers across social, political, and philosophical spheres throughout history. Its teachings remain remarkably relevant today, especially regarding how we communicate in our increasingly noisy world.
A Wedding Gathering Reveals Communication Pitfalls
At a relative's early morning wedding ceremony, where brunch was still an hour away, family members who typically communicated only through forwarded WhatsApp messages gradually formed a warm circle. Genuine laughter and heartfelt enquiries filled the air until a teenager whispered a warning: "Manju aunty." With remarkable coordination, half the teenagers immediately vanished from the scene.
Manju aunty, by all accounts a loving and well-meaning person, suffers from what can only be described as a volume problem—specifically, the volume of words she produces. Excessive talking would be a significant understatement; it seems as though during her creation, the divine forgot to install a filter between thought and speech.
Joining the circle completely unaware of the sudden stillness, her eyes immediately landed on a teenage girl who hadn't escaped in time. Turning to the girl's mother, she asked loudly, "Did you forget to feed her? Why is she so thin? Does she think this is some fashion?" Without waiting for a response, she launched into detailed accounts of how well she had fed her own daughter—and how this naturally led to a smooth normal delivery.
The Unspoken Consequences of Thoughtless Speech
The women who had undergone caesarean sections shifted uncomfortably, their eyes lowered, dignity silently bruised. When her gaze fell on a Class IV boy, she immediately inquired about his rank in class. Upon learning that ranking systems were no longer used, she smiled indulgently and explained how her son always stood first thanks to her strict control.
As her words poured out relentlessly, like autumn leaves falling from a tree, the gathering began to dissolve. Someone urgently needed the restroom, another had to check on their child, a phone rang—until only Manju aunty remained, speaking uninterrupted to an elderly grandmother who couldn't hear a word anyway.
The Modern Epidemic of Excessive Talking
We have all encountered Manju aunties in our lives—people who love to talk without listening. When they call, panic immediately sets in. If you answer, your next twenty minutes disappear; if you don't, you'll inevitably hear about your habit of not answering calls the next time you meet.
One common characteristic among such persistent speakers is judgment—an unspoken "I know better" attitude. What they lose, often without realizing it, is the precious opportunity to learn from others. True listening isn't merely waiting for one's turn to speak; it represents an act of humility that opens doors to genuine understanding.
Silence as Strategic Wisdom
Contrary to popular belief, silence isn't emptiness but rather strategic wisdom. The silent observer learns far more about the person who speaks without pause than the speaker ever learns about the listener. This explains why Plato famously observed, "Wise men speak when they have something to say; fools speak because they have to say something."
Today's world celebrates constant expression—instant opinions broadcast without reflection, reactions shared without consideration. Yet true power lies not in saying everything but in knowing what deserves to be said.
Thiruvalluvar's Timeless Guidance on Speech
Thiruvalluvar captured this essential truth with disarming simplicity in his couplet:
"Solluga sollir payanuḍaiya; Sollarka Sollil payanillach chol."
This translates to: "If speak you will, speak words that are fruitful; If speak you will, speak never fruitless words."
The Kural doesn't glorify silence blindly but rather demands responsibility from speech. Words must justify their existence through their value and impact. If they wound, belittle, inflate ego, or merely fill empty space, silence would have served everyone better. Wisdom often arrives softly, never shouting to be heard, reminding us that sometimes the most powerful communication happens in the spaces between words.
