For many years, I held a simple belief about neighbors. I thought they were just the people living next door. We would meet on staircases, recognize households without really knowing them, and exchange quick greetings during busy mornings. It took a change in my surroundings to show me how much a neighborhood truly shapes daily life, personal identity, and the feeling of belonging.
Growing Up in Old Delhi
I was born and raised in a mostly Muslim area of old Delhi. As a child, I did not consciously notice this fact. It simply felt normal. Our everyday experiences included the sound of the azaan echoing through narrow lanes. We enjoyed familiar food aromas during Ramzan. People shared greetings of Assalam Alaikum. There was a quiet understanding of each other's routines. In that space, identity never needed any explanation.
A Move to Paschim Vihar
In 2012, my family moved to Paschim Vihar in West Delhi. The change felt unsettling. This was a mixed locality, but Muslim families were few and scattered. That made the transition even harder. Everything seemed unfamiliar, from festivals to daily routines. Adjustment appeared difficult.
When searching for a house to buy, my parents specifically wanted a locality with at least a few Muslim families nearby. At the time, I did not fully grasp why this mattered. Eight years later, I understand completely. It was never just about religion. It was about comfort, safety, and the freedom to live without constantly explaining oneself.
Small Acts Build Big Bonds
Within a year of moving into our own house, something began to change slowly and quietly. We started exchanging sweets during Eid and Diwali with people who were once complete strangers. Festivals transformed into shared occasions rather than private celebrations. Small bonds started forming in unexpected ways.
I was good at applying mehendi. One girl from the neighborhood was skilled at makeup. Over time, we began calling each other whenever there was a function. What started as a practical exchange turned into a friendship built on trust and mutual support.
Similarly, since no one in my family knew how to drape a sari, an aunt living next door always stepped in to help. She never let us feel the weight of any cultural difference. From a stranger, she became an aunt for us and didi for my mother. Even today, she prepares something in advance, knowing I will visit her on Eid. I also look forward to her visiting our home on Diwali.
These exchanges may seem small, but they carry deep meaning. They represent acceptance that goes beyond mere tolerance. This acceptance is rooted in genuine care.
Proximity Versus Connection
Living in a mixed locality taught me an important lesson. Proximity does not always guarantee connection. However, connection becomes possible when people remain open to it. We may not share the same religion, food habits, or traditions. Yet we share everyday life together.
We share festivals, emergencies, conversations, and concerns. I observe how homemakers form relationships with one another in the neighborhood. For many of them, these exchanges are much more than merely social. In a world of mundane household chores, these neighborhood interactions add real value to the ordinary.
Creating Living Communities
Conversations on balconies, shared laughter during afternoon breaks, and simple exchanges turn ordinary spaces into living communities. These women also engage in collective negotiations with the sabji wale bhaiya and the suit wale bhaiya. Such shared activities create a strong sense of unity and companionship.
Standing on balconies, exchanging updates, or calling each other downstairs might appear insignificant. However, these moments are what keep a neighborhood truly alive. They transform physical closeness into meaningful social connection.
The Social Accountability of Neighbors
At the same time, neighborhoods also quietly regulate behavior. Familiarity can feel protective, but it can also feel intrusive, especially for women. Because neighbors matter so much, their opinions often carry significant weight within families.
For any act that goes against accepted family or social norms, there is a familiar warning. People ask, What would our neighbors say? Neighbors may not be part of our families, but they are people we see every day. They become witnesses to our routines, choices, and changes. Their presence forms a type of social accountability, shaping how individuals behave, particularly in closely-knit communities.
The Core Question of Neighborhoods
Our neighborhood determines several key aspects of life. It influences how safe you feel, how freely you express yourself, and how deeply you feel rooted. Perhaps the most important question is not who our neighbors are. Instead, we should ask whether our neighborhoods allow us to live with dignity, feeling seen, respected, and accepted.
The writer teaches at Sri Venkateswara College, University of Delhi.
