As Sushmita Sen approaches her landmark 50th birthday this November, the celebrated actor and former Miss Universe has opened up about the powerful psychological tool that has anchored her through decades of highs and lows: intentional self-talk.
The Art of Conscious Self-Conversation
In a revealing conversation with Dr Sheen Gurrib, Sen disclosed her unique approach to managing emotions. "You would have met no one who talks to herself like I do," she stated, describing how she consciously moderates her responses to both success and adversity.
During moments of triumph, Sen deliberately pulls herself aside with the reminder: "Don't get carried away. It's transient, don't get carried away." This practice prevents excessive elation from clouding her judgment during successful periods.
Equally important is her approach to challenges. When facing setbacks, she employs supportive self-talk: "You got this kid, you've seen so much in life, this is nothing. Get back up, you can do this." This balanced methodology creates emotional stability regardless of external circumstances.
Miss Universe: The Birthplace of a Lifelong Skill
Sen traces the development of this skill back to her transformative Miss Universe experience. "That ability I learned in those 31 days," she recalled, highlighting how the intense competition period became a training ground for emotional regulation.
Her determination to become the first Indian winner fueled this psychological development. "I wanted to be the first Indian to win, and here God had put me in a position where I could be the first Indian," she explained. This sense of purpose combined with the high-pressure environment forced her to develop coping mechanisms that would serve her throughout life.
Remarkably, Sen revealed she knew she would win moments before the announcement, demonstrating the confidence that her self-talk practices helped cultivate.
The Science Behind Balanced Self-Talk
According to Sonal Khangarot, a licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist at The Answer Room, Sen's approach represents a core emotional-regulation skill. "Balanced self-talk helps people pause, assess situations realistically, and avoid being swept away by extremes," Khangarot explains.
This becomes particularly crucial during major life transitions like turning 40 or 50. "At 40, many experience midlife reevaluation, comparing where they are with where they thought they should be," she notes. Supportive self-talk such as 'I can redefine success at my pace' can significantly reduce anxiety and perfectionism.
For those approaching 50, who may confront empty-nest changes, health shifts, or identity renegotiation, positive self-talk provides essential balance without denying reality.
Compassionate vs. Motivational Self-Talk
The effectiveness of Sen's approach lies in its compassionate nature. Khangarot emphasizes that compassionate self-talk like 'You got this, kid' works significantly better than harsh criticism because the brain responds to supportive language with calmer nervous-system activity.
"Psychologically, speaking kindly mirrors the tone we use with loved ones, activating safety rather than threat," she explains. This approach also soothes the inner child, reducing old fears of failure or rejection.
In contrast, harsh self-talk triggers the body's stress response, narrowing thinking capacity and increasing anxiety levels. The therapeutic process involves noticing critical thoughts and intentionally replacing them with gentle, encouraging statements.
Building Resilient Self-Talk in Daily Life
Developing resilient self-talk doesn't require waiting for a crisis. Khangarot recommends building this skill through small, consistent practices. "Start by observing daily inner dialogue and gently correcting harsh thoughts," she advises.
Evidence-based tools include:
- Cognitive restructuring techniques
- Regular journaling practices
- Grounding statements during stress
Repeating supportive phrases during routine stressors—such as traffic, workload, or family tensions—creates neural pathways similar to those Sen developed during her intense 31-day Miss Universe preparation.
"Over time, the mind learns to choose calm, realistic, encouraging language, strengthening resilience long before a major life event occurs," Khangarot concludes, highlighting the preventive benefits of consistent practice.
As Sushmita Sen demonstrates through her lived experience, the relationship we cultivate with ourselves through intentional self-talk becomes the foundation for navigating life's inevitable transitions with grace and resilience.
