Swati Mehrotra, a prominent parenting influencer, navigates the beautiful chaos of raising twin three-year-olds. Her home is a vibrant space filled with constant movement and noise, a far cry from the quiet serenity many might imagine. In the initial stages of motherhood, Swati confesses to feeling an intense, almost frantic pressure to ensure her children met every developmental milestone according to a strict, predetermined schedule. She approached toddlerhood as if it were a competitive race, one where she constantly feared falling behind.
The Transformative Realization: There Is No Rush
However, observing her two children, who share the exact same age, develop at their own unique paces became a profound teacher. Swati discovered a fundamental truth: childhood is not a race against time. When you witness one child mastering a skill while the other approaches it differently or later, you understand that "readiness" cannot be commanded or forced. Instead, it unfolds as a natural, blooming process, much like a flower opening at its own rhythm. This perspective shift led her family to embrace what she calls the "beautiful, chaotic slow-lane," where they've learned invaluable lessons about time and growth.
1. Mastery Isn't Immediate: The Value of Repetition
Parents often expect their children to grasp new skills instantly, whether it's putting on shoes or sharing toys. Swati emphasizes that a strong foundation is built through repetitive, often messy attempts. She shares that spending ten minutes watching her son struggle with a zipper isn't wasted time. Rather, it's a critical moment where his brain is actively constructing neural pathways for persistence and problem-solving. This patience allows children to develop resilience and self-efficacy, key traits for lifelong learning.
2. Learning Happens in the "In-Between" Moments
While structured activities like flashcards and classes have their place, Swati notes that the most significant developmental leaps for her twins occur during unstructured, everyday moments. These include:
- Watching ants crawl across the driveway, fostering curiosity about nature.
- Negotiating who gets the blue plate, which teaches social skills and compromise.
- Staring at the rain through the window, encouraging observation and wonder.
She argues that these aren't distractions from learning; they are the essence of it. By slowing down and allowing space for such experiences, parents enable children to process the world at a natural, human pace, enhancing their cognitive and emotional development.
3. Comparison Is a Thief of Joy and Growth
In the twin parenting world, it's tempting to compare milestones, such as wondering why one child speaks in full sentences while another still points. Swati has learned that every child operates on an internal clock. Forcing a child to meet a deadline they aren't ready for can lead to frustration and anxiety. In contrast, respecting their individual timing builds a foundation of confidence. This approach helps children feel secure in their abilities, reducing stress and promoting a positive self-image.
The Mom Mantra: Building for the Long Term
Swati offers a powerful analogy: A house built in a day won't weather the storm. A house built brick-by-careful-brick stands forever. This mantra underscores the importance of patience in parenting. She encourages parents who feel behind to take a breath and recognize that the "slow" path isn't a sign of delay but of depth. Children are busy building the roots—emotional, cognitive, and social—that will support them throughout their lives. Allowing them to take their time ensures these roots are strong and resilient.
About the Author: TOI Lifestyle Desk
The TOI Lifestyle Desk is a dynamic team of dedicated journalists committed to curating vibrant lifestyle news for The Times of India readers. With unwavering passion, they delve beyond the obvious to provide inspiration and information on fashion, travel, food, wellness, and more, serving as a trusted lifestyle companion for enriching daily experiences.
