In a world increasingly defined by remote work, digital interactions, and a focus on self-sufficiency, a seasoned psychotherapist makes a compelling case for the timeless power of human connection. Sonali Gupta, a Mumbai-based therapist and author, draws from her personal and professional journey to highlight why building community is the crucial antidote to modern loneliness and disconnection.
From Campus Warmth to the Loneliness of Private Practice
Sonali Gupta began her career as a student counsellor on a university campus. She describes those formative years as a gift, filled with a sense of belonging and opportunities to develop her skills in active listening within a supportive community. This foundation starkly contrasted with her next step. In 2014, she started her independent practice, a move she found deeply fulfilling but which introduced an inevitable quiet loneliness.
This solitude, she explains, is shaped by the nature of independent therapeutic work and the profound responsibility of safeguarding clients' stories. However, this awareness propelled her to seek out community in new and intentional ways, making her life more meaningful. Reflecting on recent years marked by collective grief and isolation—both for herself and her clients—Gupta arrived at a core realization: building community is possibly an antidote, a balm for a time when the world and relationships feel unpredictable.
The New Dynamics Fueling Disconnection
Gupta points to several societal shifts creating a perfect storm for loneliness. We are navigating an era of hyper-individualism and eroding trust in systems and each other. The push towards fierce autonomy and self-sufficiency, combined with the rise of remote and hybrid work models, is leading to increased disconnection. Furthermore, the rapid ascent of technology and artificial intelligence adds another layer of complexity to how we relate.
In this new dynamic, Gupta argues, the significance of community is not just important—it's foundational. Community has moved beyond a single pillar of well-being to become the very ground that stabilizes us. It opens us to empathy and keeps our sense of vitality alive. The essential question we must ask ourselves is: “Are we willing to build our own village that meets our own needs and also asks us to show up for others?”
The Pillars of a True Community
Being part of a community, according to Gupta, demands reliability and a mindset of reciprocity. It means showing up for others not out of convenience, but when they need us most. This involves thinking beyond our own comfort and remembering that mutual shared concern is where empathy and kindness come alive. In genuine communities, there is a beautiful give-and-take without score-keeping, a shared trust that others will be there to lean on.
These spaces offer interdependence, safety for vulnerability, and the chance to become better versions of ourselves. For Gupta personally, this manifests in a few close friends, her meditation group, and forums for freely discussing books, theatre, and films. These connections provide a priceless space to let go and experience lightness—a need no technology can truly satiate.
Keeping Our Humanness Intact
Gupta illustrates the essence of community with a powerful anecdote. A friend of over 20 years told her, “If you ever feel you are tiptoeing around me and I’m being unkind, just tell me. I value our friendship.” This combination of authenticity, non-judgmental space, and empathy is what makes communities special and integral to our identity.
In a fast-changing, often impersonal world, communities serve as anchors. They remind us of our values and compel us to care for others. Sonali Gupta's ultimate conclusion is that the secret to preserving our humanness lies in the deliberate act of building and sustaining communities. As we face the challenges of disconnection, the conscious cultivation of our 'village' may be our most vital work.
