A 28-year-old man from Singapore has sparked a major online conversation after revealing the intense emotional toll of living in a high-achieving family. He shared that his parents cancelled all Christmas family gatherings out of embarrassment over his unemployment and academic record.
The Weight of Family Expectations
The man, who posted his story on Reddit, was born into a high-performing Chinese household where careers in law, medicine, finance, and top corporate roles are considered imperative. He described a family landscape filled with CEOs, founders, senior executives, and younger cousins already in prestigious jobs. In stark contrast, he graduated with a low GPA and, after securing a job, lost it this year. He has since struggled to find new employment.
Compounding his distress, a significant error he made at his previous workplace contributed to the company's closure. The firm's owner later discussed the incident on podcasts, which, though not naming him, intensified his profound sense of shame and failure.
A Breaking Point at Christmas
The situation reached a crisis point with his parents. "Ever since I was fired, there has been a significant change in my parents' attitude. For example, hardly speaking to me," he wrote. The conflict exploded when his parents cancelled all planned Christmas family gatherings.
He recounted their harsh words: "They started screaming at me, saying how I am a complete embarrassment to them and that they can't bear to face my relatives." They compared him relentlessly to his cousins, who are already doctors, department heads at multinational corporations, and purchasing their first homes and cars.
Mental Health Toll and Online Support
The man confessed that constant comparisons have plagued him with anxiety and depression, feelings that worsened after his dismissal. He emphasized that he tried his best in university, maintaining discipline without distractions, but still struggled academically. "This is the first time I have been told that they are embarrassed of me," he revealed, expressing his shock and hopelessness.
Seeking advice on Reddit, he received an outpouring of support condemning his family's behaviour. One user strongly advised: "I don't think your situation calls for solutions to manage your family's high expectations. They are the ones failing you." The commenter called his parents "TERRIBLE" for shaming him instead of offering support, despite having ample resources.
Another common piece of advice urged him to distance himself from the toxicity. "Ignore them and if you can't, move out. Parents who truly love you would not find you an embarrassment, but would support you through this difficult time," a respondent commented, highlighting how such pressure can deepen one's professional and personal rut.
The viral post underscores a critical dialogue about toxic achievement culture, familial pressure, and mental health, especially in high-expectation environments, resonating with many facing similar silent battles.
