Imagine being the child of one of the world's most renowned billionaires, yet your classmates have no idea. This was the reality for Phoebe Gates, the youngest daughter of Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates and philanthropist Melinda French Gates. In a recent revelation, the 22-year-old Stanford graduate and entrepreneur shared that she and her siblings were intentionally shielded from their father's colossal fame for years, using their mother's maiden name instead.
The Deliberate Decision to Use 'French' Instead of 'Gates'
On her podcast, The Burnouts, Phoebe Gates disclosed a fascinating detail about her upbringing. Her parents made a conscious choice that their children would not use the iconic 'Gates' surname until they reached high school. Until that point, Phoebe and her siblings were known by their mother's maiden name, 'French'. This strategy, she explained, was pivotal in allowing her to form genuine, unpressured friendships during her formative years.
"My parents were really intentional about making sure we didn't use my dad's last name Gates until we were in high school— we went by my mom's last name," Phoebe shared. This move effectively stripped away the instant privilege and altered perceptions that come with being a Gates. It ensured that her childhood was simpler, free from the heavy baggage of global fame and legacy, allowing her to be seen for herself first.
Melinda French Gates's Middle-Class Parenting Philosophy
This was not a whimsical family quirk but a carefully calculated parenting decision spearheaded by Melinda French Gates. Long before her highly publicised 2021 divorce from Bill Gates, Melinda had a clear vision for raising their children. Her perspective was shaped by her own college experiences, where she observed the children of extremely wealthy families.
In a joint interview with Vogue, Melinda stated, "I had been around a lot of kids from wealth in college... And I knew how I did not want my children to turn out." To prevent her children from developing a sense of entitlement, she was determined to instil middle-class values in them, deliberately avoiding the privileges their father's wealth and status could afford.
The planning extended to the minutiae of daily life. Melinda also managed school drop-offs meticulously. For the initial weeks, Bill Gates was kept away from dropping the kids at school. This gave classmates time to build organic friendships with the Gates children before discovering they were interacting with the offspring of one of the planet's richest men. The goal was never secrecy, but privacy and the preservation of a normal childhood.
Choice, Readiness, and Carrying the Gates Legacy
Reflecting on her parents' strategy, Phoebe Gates believes it worked exceptionally well. She admitted that being fully associated with the Gates name at a young age might not have been healthy. "Before I'd be like, 'Oh, this is my family' or 'This is who I'm related to,' I don't think it would have necessarily been good for me to be fully in the spotlight as a child," she said.
Interestingly, Melinda did not impose the 'no-Gates-name' rule indefinitely. As the children matured, they were empowered to choose their own last name. In a March feature for Elle's Women of Impact, Melinda explained that she wanted each child to decide when—and if—they felt prepared to carry the weight of the Gates name.
"My oldest daughter went in with Gates; she felt like she was ready to take that name on," Melinda revealed. "My son chose not to. He used French all the way through high school." This approach underscores a critical understanding: being a Gates child is not solely about perks; it involves immense public expectations and responsibility. The choice of surname became a personal rite of passage, symbolising their readiness to step into that complex legacy.
The story of the Gates children's surnames offers a rare glimpse into the challenges of parenting in the global spotlight. It highlights a concerted effort to prioritise normalcy, authentic relationships, and personal choice over fame and fortune, proving that even in one of the world's most famous families, the greatest privilege can sometimes be the chance to be ordinary.
