Bollywood superstar Deepika Padukone, currently embracing motherhood after the birth of her daughter Dua, has inadvertently sparked a crucial conversation about parenting styles. A resurfaced clip from her appearance on The Kapil Sharma Show, where she detailed her father's strict disciplinary methods, has ignited a debate on the psychological impact of fear-based parenting.
The Padukone Discipline: A Dark Room and a Switch Outside
During the show, Deepika recalled her childhood under the guidance of her father, the legendary badminton champion Prakash Padukone. She described a specific form of punishment meted out for misbehaviour or neglected homework. "The apartment we used to stay in earlier has a long kitchen space, and there was also a store room," she explained. "So whenever I misbehaved with my parents or didn't do my homework properly, I was locked inside the store room."
The actor added a chilling detail: "The light switch for it was outside, so my father would lock me inside and switch off the light." This memory, shared in a light-hearted show context, has led psychologists and parents to examine the deeper implications of such disciplinary actions.
Interestingly, this revelation comes months after Deepika, at the Forbes Summit in Abu Dhabi, spoke fondly of her father's values shaping her life and her own approach to parenting. She quoted him saying, "whatever you do, people remember you for the human being that you were," indicating a complex legacy of high principles coupled with strict enforcement.
The Psychology of Fear: Long-Term Scars of Harsh Discipline
Counseling psychologist Jai Arora, co-founder of Kirana Counselling, contextualises such practices. "Punishment as a form of disciplining the child runs deep in our Indian culture," he notes. However, he warns about methods rooted in fear, like confinement in darkness.
"Discipline rooted in fear, such as being confined in a dark space, can trigger intense feelings of helplessness, abandonment, and anxiety in a child," Arora explains. The immediate goal of the parent—to stop the unwanted behaviour—may be achieved, but at a significant cost.
The child may develop a pattern of perfectionism, striving relentlessly to avoid punishment and win approval. Arora points out a critical issue: "These patterns become unconscious and may stay with you even when you've become an adult and are not in those threatening situations anymore." The shadow of childhood discipline can thus extend far into adulthood, influencing behaviour, self-esteem, and stress responses.
Breaking the Cycle: From Punishment to Positive Guidance
Modern child psychology strongly advocates for moving away from punitive measures. The focus is on teaching and guiding rather than instilling fear. Jai Arora suggests several healthier alternatives for parents seeking to correct behaviour effectively.
Positive reinforcement, clear communication of consequences, and natural consequences help children understand accountability without trauma. Techniques like time-outs, when done in safe, open environments, can be effective. Most importantly, modeling appropriate behaviour and setting consistent, respectful boundaries are key to nurturing confident, well-adjusted children.
"Trusting your child and treating them like they have agency are perhaps the most important elements," Arora emphasises. This approach fosters mutual respect and internalised discipline.
The conversation also touches on a generational challenge. Many who experienced harsh discipline may unconsciously repeat the pattern under stress, despite their best intentions. Others may overcorrect, becoming excessively permissive. "Self-awareness, therapy, and parenting education can help individuals process their own childhood experiences and adopt balanced, empathetic parenting styles," Arora recommends. This path prioritises emotional safety alongside necessary boundaries, aiming to heal the past while nurturing the future.
