Yami Gautam's Honest Confession: The Harsh Reality of Juggling Motherhood and Bollywood
For any new mother, balancing professional commitments with parental responsibilities presents a monumental challenge. This struggle is amplified when your career demands constant travel and unpredictable schedules. Bollywood actress Yami Gautam recently shared her heartfelt experiences, shedding light on the emotional turmoil of mom guilt and the extraordinary lengths she goes to for her son.
The Cruelty of Distance: Shooting Locations and Motherly Concerns
In a candid conversation with Karishma Mehta from Humans of Bombay, Yami Gautam revealed the difficulties she faced while shooting for her film Haq. Initially planning to have her son accompany her, she reconsidered after her husband Aditya Dhar advised her to assess the conditions firsthand.
"I landed there and realised everyday my shoot location would be two hours, one side, away from the lodging, and the shooting would be in interior locations, which is cruel and harsh with a baby that age," she recalled. This realization forced her to make tough decisions about her family's well-being during production.
5 AM Flights and Sacrificial Routines
Determined to maintain her connection with her child, Yami implemented a demanding routine. She requested permission from her director to fly home during her single weekly day off. "After pack up on the last day, I would fly home on the first early morning operational flight I would get at 5 o'clock, I would land straight on set," she explained. This grueling schedule highlights the physical and emotional toll of trying to excel both as a professional and as a mother.
Understanding Mom Guilt: Expert Perspectives on Emotional Impact
Dr. Pavitra Shankar, Associate Consultant – Psychiatry at Aakash Healthcare, emphasizes that while mom guilt is common, its consequences extend beyond the mother. "Children at a tender age do not measure time in hours spent together, but in emotional availability. When a parent is frequently absent due to work, a child may internalise this not as a lack of love, but as emotional distance," she noted.
This emotional distance can manifest in various behavioral changes in children:
- Increased clinginess and separation anxiety
- Sleep disturbances and irritability
- Behavioral regression or heightened emotional reactions
- Unusual quietness or excessive compliance
- Attention-seeking behaviors
Building Secure Attachments Despite Physical Absence
Dr. Shankar stresses that quality of connection matters more than quantity of time. "Predictable routines, reassurance, and emotionally attuned interactions help children feel safe even when parents are not always present," she explained. Secure attachment relies on emotional reliability rather than constant physical presence.
"When guilt overshadows interactions, children may become hyper-vigilant to a parent's mood, try to 'manage' the parent's emotions, or withdraw altogether," Dr. Shankar added, highlighting how parental guilt can inadvertently affect children's emotional development.
Practical Strategies for Managing Mom Guilt
Clinical psychologist Kamna Chhibber offers several practical approaches for new mothers struggling with guilt:
- Establish Consistent Routines: Create and maintain predictable schedules with your child while allowing necessary flexibility.
- Prepare for Contingencies: Remind yourself that occasional unavailability doesn't diminish your overall presence.
- Communicate Openly: Share your schedule with children beforehand to help them understand and prepare.
- Challenge Negative Thoughts: Focus on your accomplishments and balance self-criticism with positive recognition.
- Build Support Systems: Delegate tasks and create networks to share responsibilities.
- Set Clear Boundaries: Be assertive about protecting time with your children from unnecessary intrusions.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Allow yourself room for imperfection and acknowledge your daily efforts.
The Broader Conversation About Working Mothers
Yami Gautam's experience reflects a universal challenge faced by working mothers across professions. Her willingness to discuss these struggles publicly contributes to a larger dialogue about workplace flexibility, parental support systems, and societal expectations. While her Bollywood platform provides unique visibility, the fundamental issues of balancing career ambitions with maternal responsibilities resonate with countless women navigating similar journeys.
The conversation extends beyond individual coping mechanisms to systemic considerations about how workplaces and families can better support mothers during this demanding life phase. As more public figures like Yami share their experiences, it helps normalize these challenges and encourages more supportive environments for working parents everywhere.
