Rajesh Khanna's Drunken 3 AM Breakdown: A Superstar's Desperate Cry to God
In a revealing throwback interview, the legendary Bollywood actor Rajesh Khanna shared a poignant moment of vulnerability that exposed the dark side of stardom. The superstar, once hailed as India's first true cinematic icon, recounted a harrowing incident where he experienced a drunken breakdown on his terrace at 3 am, yelling at God after a string of seven consecutive film failures.
A Terrifying Scene Unfolds
According to Khanna's 1990 interview with Movie magazine, the actor found himself alone on his terrace during a rainy, pitch-dark night. Overwhelmed by the pressure of his declining career, he lost control and shouted out in desperation. "Parvardigar, hum garibon ka itna sakht imtihan na le ki hum tere vajood ko inkar kar de (God, don't test my patience to such an extent that I question your very existence)," he cried out.
Witnessing this emotional outburst was his then-wife Dimple Kapadia, who watched in fear along with household staff. They rushed to the terrace, fearing Khanna had gone insane. Reflecting on the incident, Khanna explained, "It was because success hit me so much that I couldn't take the failure." This raw confession highlights how the immense pressure of maintaining superstardom took a severe psychological toll on the actor.
The Troubled Marriage of Bollywood's First Superstar Couple
The incident occurred against the backdrop of Khanna and Kapadia's tumultuous marriage. The couple had wed in 1973 when Khanna was 31 and at the peak of his fame, while Kapadia was just 16 and still navigating her teenage years. Their union began with significant power imbalance - Kapadia married one of India's leading stars even before her debut film released, but Khanna forbade her from working in movies, effectively ending her career before it could begin.
Nine years into their marriage, Kapadia made the difficult decision to walk out with their two daughters and restart her acting career. By all accounts, their relationship was fraught with challenges. Khanna's volatile behavior, diminishing stardom, excessive drinking, and numerous extramarital alliances created what Kapadia later described as a "traumatic" period in their lives.
Dimple Kapadia's Perspective on Their Turbulent Relationship
In a 1994 interview with Pritish Nandy, Kapadia reflected on their marriage with remarkable candor. She acknowledged their fundamental differences, stating, "I think we were two very different kinds of people. And I was probably very young to understand what was happening to this man who was a superstar."
Kapadia admitted struggling to comprehend celebrity behavior patterns, explaining, "I mean I have never been able to understand stars and their behaviour patterns at all because I am not one myself. It's very difficult for me to... I couldn't understand it. I just couldn't understand it." When directly asked if this period was traumatic, she responded simply but powerfully: "Yes it was."
Life After Separation and Unconventional Resolution
Following their separation, both stars took different paths. Kapadia successfully revived her acting career, establishing herself as one of Bollywood's most respected performers. Khanna, meanwhile, briefly had a relationship with his co-actor Tina Munim before eventually reconciling with Kapadia in an unconventional arrangement.
Despite living separately for years, the couple never formally divorced. In her 1994 interview, when asked about remarriage prospects, Kapadia expressed hope: "Yes, I would. I don't know how I'd be able to adjust because I am so used to being my own person, but sure, I would love to get married again."
Remarkably, Rajesh Khanna and Dimple Kapadia remained legally married until Khanna's death in 2012, their relationship evolving from turbulent marriage to complicated companionship that defied conventional expectations.
This revealing glimpse into Bollywood's first superstar couple's private struggles serves as a powerful reminder of how fame's pressures can manifest in destructive ways, while also highlighting the resilience required to navigate such challenging personal circumstances in the public eye.
