Zoho Chief Scientist Sridhar Vembu's recent advice to young entrepreneurs about marrying and starting families in their twenties has ignited a fierce debate across social media platforms. The tech billionaire's comments about fulfilling "demographic duty" have drawn mixed reactions from netizens who point to contemporary economic and social realities.
The Controversial Advice and Its Context
On Wednesday, November 19, Sridhar Vembu took to X (formerly Twitter) to share his perspective on marriage and family planning for young professionals. "I advise young entrepreneurs I meet, both men and women, to marry and have kids in their 20s and not keep postponing it," Vembu wrote in his post that quickly went viral.
He further elaborated that young people need to recognize their "demographic duty to society and their own ancestors," while acknowledging that these ideas might appear old-fashioned to some. The Zoho executive was responding to entrepreneur Upasana Konidela's earlier post about her experience at IIT Hyderabad, where she noted that more male students than female students expressed interest in marriage during an interactive session.
Netizens Highlight Economic and Social Realities
The immediate reaction to Vembu's advice highlighted the significant gap between traditional expectations and modern challenges. X user Gaurav Chaudhary articulated the concerns of many young Indians when he emphasized that today's youth aren't afraid of commitment but rather "afraid of building a family on unstable salaries, zero work-life balance, and rent that eats 40% of income."
Chaudhary reframed the discussion by calling it an economic crisis rather than a demographic one, suggesting that solving economic instability would naturally lead to more people choosing marriage and family. Vembu acknowledged this perspective, agreeing that there is indeed a cost of living crisis affecting young people, but maintained that cultural factors also play a significant role, as even those who can afford marriage are choosing to postpone it.
Beyond Economics: Legal and Happiness Concerns
The conversation deepened as Chaudhary and other users pointed to additional factors discouraging early marriage. Legal concerns around divorce, custody, and alimony were highlighted as significant deterrents, particularly for men who can otherwise afford marriage.
Chaudhary noted that with rising divorce rates in metropolitan areas and studies indicating that marital happiness typically declines after the initial years, many young people view marriage as "a high-risk contract" rather than a demographic duty. Another user, Monica Varma, raised concerns about career impacts, specifically asking who would compensate for career setbacks due to maternity leaves in today's competitive environment.
Vembu responded to these concerns by encouraging a broader perspective on life's timeline. "Life is not a race," he wrote, pointing out that "30 is a new beginning for many people" and that there are ample opportunities to excel at any age. He shared personal anecdotes about receiving similar advice from his mother and reflected on his own career trajectory compared to younger entrepreneurs like Mark Zuckerberg.
Research Supports Changing Trends
The online discussion reflects broader demographic trends documented by research institutions. A January 2024 report from Pew Research Center confirmed that young adults are marrying much later than previous generations, with the median age for first marriage continuing to rise.
The report also noted a significant decline in young adults having children, with only 27% of adults aged 30-34 having children in their households in 2023, compared to 60% in 1993. Research from the Stanford Center on Longevity in 2018 revealed that while ideal marriage ages haven't changed dramatically (around 27 years old), actual achievement of these milestones has decreased with each successive generation.
Tamara Sims, a research scientist at the Center on Longevity, provided crucial context: "Young adults are not the disruptors that they have been made out to be... They are indeed getting married, buying a home and starting a family later than their ideal age at lower rates than other generations, but this decline did not start with them."
The debate sparked by Vembu's comments continues to highlight the complex interplay between traditional values, economic realities, and evolving social priorities in contemporary India.
