Divorce Attorney Reveals Simple Weekly Habit That Can Save Most Marriages
Marriages do not always end because of dramatic events like infidelity. Two people can be deeply in love yet still choose to separate. Relationships rarely crumble overnight; instead, they often deteriorate quietly through neglect and unaddressed issues.
The Power of Small, Overlooked Details
James J. Sexton, a prominent New York-based divorce attorney who has witnessed countless marriages dissolve in his office, has identified a simple habit that can prevent relationship breakdowns. After observing patterns across numerous cases, he noticed that couples who practiced one specific ritual had significantly better outcomes.
The Simple Strategy: Walk and Talk
According to Sexton, there is a straightforward practice that can address almost any marital issue. "I've seen some couples that have made a practice, they call it a walk-and-talk," he explained during a podcast interview with Codie Sanchez.
This practice is exactly what it sounds like: couples take a long walk together once a week, using this dedicated time to communicate openly. However, there is a crucial structure to these walks that makes them effective.
How the Walk and Talk Actually Works
The walk isn't simply about venting frustrations or airing grievances. Instead, it's a structured opportunity to repair what might be broken in the relationship. The ritual typically involves 20-30 minutes of honest, uninterrupted conversation in a neutral, safe environment where both partners can speak freely.
The most important component comes during this conversation:
- Each partner shares three specific things the other did during the week that made them feel loved, valued, or seen
- Each partner also mentions one or two things their partner could have done differently, or actions that made them feel unloved or neglected
"And I think if you can't come up with three things your spouse did this week that made you feel loved, that's a problem in and of itself," Sexton emphasized, highlighting how this exercise reveals underlying relationship dynamics.
Why This Strategy Is So Effective
Saving a marriage isn't about ignoring problems or pretending everything is perfect. It's about identifying what isn't working and actively addressing it. The walk and talk practice accomplishes this by:
- Creating regular communication opportunities: Many couples let weeks or months pass without meaningful conversation
- Eliminating ambiguity: Partners learn exactly what makes each other feel loved rather than guessing or assuming
- Providing structure without criticism: The format encourages expression of feelings without blame or attack
- Offering a starting point for couples feeling distance: For relationships where connection has weakened, this weekly ritual provides a manageable way to rebuild intimacy
This practice transforms potentially difficult conversations into constructive exchanges. Partners aren't criticizing each other but rather expressing their genuine thoughts and feelings. They're articulating what they appreciate and what causes them pain in a framework that promotes understanding rather than defensiveness.
For couples who feel their relationship slipping away, this simple weekly commitment can serve as a powerful tool to reconnect, communicate more effectively, and strengthen their bond before problems become insurmountable.
