In a world where conversations about sex are often shrouded in silence and stigma, sexual health educator and mythologist Seema Anand stands out with her unapologetic and feisty approach. Known for her expertise on the Kama Sutra and her active social media presence, Anand has now channeled years of public interaction into a new book, Speak Easy: A Field Guide to Love, Longing and Intimacy, published by Bloomsbury India.
A Book Born from Real Questions
The book, released in December 2025, is not a traditional manual but a compilation of real letters Anand has received over the years. People from all walks of life have reached out to her with their confusions about relationships, sexual dilemmas, kinks, and complicated 'situationships'. Anand, with the help of experts like relational therapist Dr. Anvita Madan-Bahel, addresses these queries with sensitivity and a non-judgmental lens.
"It was a lot of work," Anand revealed about the process, noting she rewrote some answers up to four times to ensure nuance. She chose the Q&A format over thematic chapters to preserve the authenticity of each person's story. "If I (as a reader) see the letter that somebody's written, each little point of it suddenly makes a different kind of sense," she explained, highlighting how this approach reveals the 'real worry' behind a question.
Dedicated to her children, whom she calls her "biggest support," the book also carries a message for families. Anand hopes it demonstrates that parents can and should be a 'soft cushion' and a safe space for their children to discuss intimate matters.
Confronting Shame and Guilt
A recurring theme in the letters, and a central focus of Anand's work, is the overwhelming sense of shame and guilt people associate with sexual pleasure. She traces this conflict back to a historical dichotomy. "The Kama Sutra was written in about 300 AD; at the same time, around 325 AD, the first Ecumenical Council of the Catholic Church was set up," she notes. While one text celebrated pleasure, the other labelled it evil, creating a cultural 'twilight zone' that persists today.
"We are living in such a dystopian world where everybody wants pleasure, but everybody thinks of it as a bad thing," Anand observes. This internalized shame, often rooted in upbringing, leads people to seek validation, hoping to overcome these paralyzing emotions.
Redefining Consent as an Ongoing Dialogue
One of the most critical pieces of advice Anand emphasizes is a robust, modern understanding of consent. She argues forcefully against treating consent as a one-time 'yes' given at the start of an intimate act. "Consent isn't a one-time yes, it is an ongoing process," she states.
She points out the subtle coercion that often undermines true agreement, where a partner might eventually concede just "to keep you happy." Anand empowers people to understand that it is okay to say 'No' at any point. "You have the right to say, 'I'll try it but if I don't like it, I will tell you. If I don't want it, I will tell you,'" she asserts.
For her, consent must be solid and vocal. Silence or a smile does not constitute a 'Yes'. A proper, audible agreement is needed at every new phase of intimacy, making it a continuous conversation between partners.
As a public figure navigating complex and personal topics, Anand has trained herself to be non-judgmental, though she admits some letters can still be challenging. Her mission has now evolved into actively challenging judgment in others. "I have now entered this next phase of my life... where I'm constantly fighting with friends and saying, 'You need to stop judging,'" she shares.
Through Speak Easy, Seema Anand aims to build a bridge of understanding, assuring readers they are not alone in their questions and that open, shame-free dialogue is the cornerstone of healthy intimacy.
