A recent exploration into the discreet world of extramarital connections has positioned Bengaluru at the pinnacle among major Indian cities. While infidelity is an age-old phenomenon, the digital era, powered by dating applications, has dramatically reshaped its landscape, making clandestine connections just a swipe away.
The Bengaluru Connection: Tech and Loneliness Collide
The findings highlight a significant trend in India's Silicon Valley. Gleeden, a French dating app designed for married individuals seeking connections outside their marriage, reports that 17% of its Indian users are from Bengaluru, placing it at the top among metros. The city shares the largest user base in the country with Mumbai. Another platform, Ashley Madison, notes India as one of its fastest-growing markets in 2025, with surprising uptake from smaller towns like Kanchipuram in Tamil Nadu.
Dr. Satish Kumar, a clinical psychologist at Manipal Hospital in Bengaluru, explains the urban catalyst. "Bengaluru has a vibrant dating culture. People connect for various activities, and dating apps make it easy to find somebody outside a marriage's knowledge. It is easier to be in a virtual self than a real self," he observes. The app data provides a window into marital dissatisfaction: 49% of Gleeden users miss excitement in marriage, 44% desire better communication, and 40% feel a lack of emotional connection.
From Emotional Void to 'Situationships'
The search often begins with an emotional need. A 42-year-old Bengaluru-based techie, married for a decade, confesses to a four-year relationship that started on a dating app. "My wife finds it difficult to relate to my work stress. After our children were born, she was completely involved with them. I turned to an app and found a partner to share my thoughts," he says, describing a bond that is both physical and emotional.
This pattern is common. Navya, a 32-year-old corporate professional, sought companionship outside her marriage due to a lack of communication with her work-absorbed husband. "I can talk to him a lot. I was alone before meeting him," she says about the man she met on an app, clarifying their relationship is emotional, not physical. Dr. Deepak S Ghadigaonkar, a psychiatry professor at NIMHANS, notes that such dynamics often evolve into 'situationships'—romantic connections lacking defined commitment. "The pleasure and immediate satisfaction are perhaps the reasons why married people are signing up," he states.
The Legal and Emotional Fallout
While the Supreme Court decriminalized adultery in India in 2018, the social and personal consequences remain severe. Senior advocate Jayna Kothari notes, "A large number of divorce cases are due to extramarital relationships." She adds that while reconciliation is possible, serious affairs often signal the end of a marriage. The secrecy itself is damaging. "When a spouse discovers a hidden relationship, it is experienced as a betrayal and can cause significant emotional trauma," warns Dr. Deepak.
The demographic skew on these platforms is telling: on Gleeden, 65% of users are men and 35% are women, with most being married or in long-term commitments. For singles like Sanjana, a 28-year-old from Bengaluru, navigating these apps reveals an unexpected reality. "I began swiping into profiles of much-married men. They were quick to put out a disclaimer, saying they were looking for fun or a casual relationship," she shares.
Ultimately, experts stress that technology is merely a catalyst, amplifying existing fissures. "If people are content with their own lives, the chances of going out for a casual relationship are less," concludes Dr. Satish Kumar. The rise of apps has not created new desires but has undoubtedly provided a new, discreet avenue for the age-old search for connection, validation, and escape, with Bengaluru currently at the forefront of this complex social shift.
