Goa Teen Confronts Jatra Trauma After Losing Mother in Stampede
In the quiet village of Tivim, Goa, a young student named Rutika Kauthankar from Autchitwaddo has faced a profound test of courage. After completing her Class X examinations, she was confronted with another daunting challenge: returning as a dhond, a devotee who observes a fast, to the Lairai jatra in Shirgao, Bicholim, on April 21. This annual festival holds painful memories for Rutika, as it was at this very venue last year that she witnessed her mother Tanuja's tragic death in a devastating stampede during the rituals.
A Daughter's Fear and Family's Vow
Rutika has openly expressed her deep-seated fears to her aunt, stating she lacks the emotional strength to participate as a dhond less than a year after her mother's passing. "My mother was the first to stumble and fall. I could hear her say to me 'Shanu, who will take care of you after me'. I think she breathed her last then and there. I fell unconscious. I am afraid it will happen again," Rutika shared, seated at a temple near her home with other dhonds for pre-jatra rituals. Her older sister, Saily, has stepped in to support her, explaining that Rutika will avoid the nighttime rituals to prevent retraumatization. "She will complete the ritual fasting here and visit the temple in the morning and return home, to avoid the crowds," Saily affirmed.
Despite Rutika's reluctance, her aunt Roshan Kauthankar reminded her of a family vow made by her late mother. Tanuja had pledged that Rutika would serve as a dhond after the girl suffered from frequent illnesses, including boils all over her body and scalp, which reportedly improved following the vow. Roshan noted, "Tanuja would take her daughter as a dhond to Lairai jatra since the child was in Class VI." Family members added that Tanuja had been a dedicated dhond even before her marriage, underscoring the deep-rooted tradition in their lives.
Lasting Injuries and Haunting Memories
The stampede has left Rutika with severe physical and emotional scars. She sustained serious injuries, with her back still causing pain, and ongoing treatment continues a year later. Recalling the harrowing incident, Rutika described, "I fell unconscious after tripping in the stampede over my mother. My second cousin, Aditya, who also lost his life in the stampede, fell over me. I kept slipping in and out of consciousness after that. I remember being briefly taken to someone's house and given CPR. I was transported to the Bicholim health centre. I was not told nor was I in the state to ask my mother's whereabouts." It was only upon returning home the evening after the jatra that she realized she had arrived for her mother's funeral, a moment of profound grief.
Looking Ahead with Caution
As Rutika navigates this difficult period, her focus remains on safety and family. She expressed uncertainty about future participation, saying, "If the crowd management is better this year, maybe I will be able to attend the jatra at night next year, or maybe not. It is difficult to say. It is just us two sisters and our father Shyamsunder now. We cannot risk anything." This sentiment highlights the broader concerns about event safety and the personal toll of such tragedies on survivors.
The story of Rutika Kauthankar serves as a poignant reminder of the intersection between faith, tradition, and trauma in communities across Goa. As she prepares for the jatra with adjustments to protect her well-being, her journey underscores the resilience required to honor family commitments while coping with loss.
