In a country like India, where reports of women facing domestic violence, familial attacks, and committing suicide are common, one question arises time and again: Why didn't you leave? While these four words might be easy to utter and seem like a simple question, they represent one of the biggest hurdles many women face in life.
Not every woman has the resources—such as a job, money, support, and most importantly, courage—to leave a toxic marriage or relationship. But this is where the GTFO fund comes in. Women, whether or not you sign a prenuptial agreement, make sure to secure a GTFO fund for yourself in life.
What is a GTFO Fund?
While many advise that getting married is expensive, what they don't reveal is that getting divorced might just empty your bank account. With the cost of living putting all of us in a perpetual crisis, money has become a contentious point in relationships. For women, the situation is often worse, as they are quick to offer financial help and pool resources in romantic relationships. Thus, in the case of breakups and divorces, they tend to get the worst end of the stick, often earning less as well.
In such situations, having a separate bank account or a stockpile of emergency savings can be a vital lifeline. "Go Funds" or "Get the F*** Out" funds find their origins in a time when women could not have their own bank accounts and would put some cash aside for whenever an emergency would strike or they needed to flee their partner. Unlike your regular savings, this is a smaller, hidden pot of cash you set aside for a smooth exit from the drama when it occurs.
Why Do Women Need a GTFO Fund?
Funds like these are not just important for women in abusive or coercive relationships; they can be just as important in healthy relationships and breakups. While you may get a portion of your own assets back when you divorce, along with alimony in some cases, the legal process is often too long. Until then, a GTFO fund can give you the encouragement you need while also keeping you afloat for a while.
How to Start a GTFO Fund
If creating a GTFO fund is something you are taking seriously, you need to be realistic about how much you would need and begin saving from the beginning of your relationship, rather than when things start to go haywire. Rather than thinking you have one foot out the door, keep your perspective flexible. If things go well, the fund could pay for a wedding or house mortgage; if not, it is your GTFO fund.
One of the first steps is to set up a separate account from which you can withdraw money immediately and that your partner does not have access to. A savings account with a high interest rate could be a good option. While you may need to keep your partner off the access, it is not vital to keep the account a secret. Even in a relationship, you still have the right to be an individual, and thus having separate finances can be a simple act of maintaining independence.
Moreover, your partner's reaction to you having a separate account is important to know. While it may represent security to you, it may signal abandonment to them. This would also let you know their thoughts about your shared finances. If a person you are living with or planning to spend your life with is not ready to have an honest conversation about finances and relationship realities, then they might not be the right person for you after all.
