Veteran screenwriter Salim Khan recently discussed his approach to raising his three famous sons in an old interview that has resurfaced online. He shared his thoughts on parenting, emphasizing a philosophy of non-interference and natural growth.
'Life Planning Se Chalti Nahin Hai'
Salim Khan made a striking statement about life and career planning. He said, "Life planning se chalti nahin hai..." This translates to "Life does not work according to planning." He applied this idea directly to his sons' lives and careers.
Fathers as Part of Nature
He further elaborated on this concept. "One thing people should learn, especially fathers, is that they are as much a part of nature as these trees," Khan explained. He used a simple yet powerful analogy to make his point.
"Can you plan the growth of this tree? Exactly. You have to protect them in their childhood. You can't plant the growth of anybody; you can just guide them," he stated. This reflects his belief in allowing children to develop naturally.
Parenting His Three Sons
Salim Khan is the father of three well-known Bollywood personalities: Salman Khan, Arbaaz Khan, and Sohail Khan. He spoke about how he raised them with this philosophy in mind.
"They are all 3 individuals, not influenced by each other. They come to me for advice whenever they need it. I also don't breathe on their neck all the time, ki ye kya kar rahe ho, woh kya kar rahe ho," Khan shared. This shows his respect for their independence.
Expert Opinion on Khan's Approach
Arpita Kohli, a Psychologist and Counsellor at PSRI Hospital, commented on Khan's parenting style. She said, "His analogy of children growing like trees—needing protection, nourishment, and space rather than rigid planning—sheds light on modern parenting."
Kohli agreed with Khan's perspective. "A non-interference style works beautifully only when it comes with emotional availability. Children flourish when they feel accepted for who they are instead of being pushed to match a parent's blueprint," she explained.
Balancing Protection and Autonomy
Khan's philosophy centers on finding the right balance between protection and autonomy. He believes young children need safeguarding, but parents must gradually step back as they grow.
Kohli echoed this sentiment. "Early structure builds safety, but autonomy builds competence," she said. "The healthiest parenting style is scaffolded, providing support while allowing independence."
How Reduced Control Shapes Identity
Khan practiced this principle with his sons. His refusal to micromanage their paths helped them become independent adults, according to Kohli.
She added, "When children have psychological space, they discover their own values and preferences. Autonomy also deepens confidence and self-reliance."
Relevance in Today's High-Pressure Culture
Khan's assertion that "life does not work according to planning" feels particularly relevant today. Many parents project career expectations onto their children in our competitive society.
Kohli suggests a shift in approach. "Instead of dictating career paths, parents should help children explore different interests. This moves from outcome-focused parenting to growth-focused parenting," she recommended.
Letting Children Grow Naturally
Khan's tree metaphor aligns with contemporary psychological understanding. Kohli emphasized, "Nourish the roots, provide sunlight, offer guidance—but let the tree grow in its own natural direction."
She concluded, "Parenting isn't about planning a child's life. It's about walking beside them while they discover it." This captures the essence of Salim Khan's approach to raising his successful sons.
The interview, originally shared by Lehren, offers timeless insights into parenting. Salim Khan's words remind us that sometimes, the best way to help children thrive is to give them space to grow, just like trees in nature.
