For countless professionals across India, the tug-of-war between ambitious career goals and family responsibilities is a daily reality. This conflict often births a powerful and debilitating emotion: guilt. According to counselling expert Maullika Sharma, this guilt emerges from a clash between personal desires and external societal expectations.
The Tyranny of the Word 'Should'
Maullika Sharma, whose insights were highlighted on 02 December 2025, pinpoints a specific culprit behind this emotional turmoil. She identifies the word 'should' as a key driver of guilt. This term, she explains, is not born from an individual's genuine wants or needs. Instead, it is shaped by external, socially dictated norms.
When a person believes they have done something wrong or failed to live up to a standard they 'should' have met, guilt takes hold. This standard is frequently imposed by cultural narratives, family pressures, or workplace cultures that dictate what a 'good' professional or a 'good' family member looks like. The internal conflict arises when these imposed 'shoulds' differ starkly from what the person authentically desires for their own life.
Navigating Societal Expectations in the Indian Context
In the Indian societal framework, these external pressures can be particularly intense. Traditional expectations around family roles, especially for women, often collide with modern career aspirations. The guilt of prioritizing a meeting over a family function, or the anxiety of missing a child's school event for a work deadline, becomes a heavy psychological burden.
Sharma's analysis moves the focus from the individual's 'failure' to the source of the expectation. The problem is reframed: it is not necessarily a personal shortcoming, but often a mismatch between one's true self and socially constructed ideals. Recognizing this distinction is the first step toward managing the associated guilt.
Moving Beyond Guilt to Authentic Choice
The path forward involves conscious reflection and boundary-setting. It requires individuals to interrogate the origin of their 'shoulds.' Is a particular expectation coming from a personal value, or is it an echo of societal noise? The goal is to make choices—whether leaning into a career opportunity or dedicating time to family—based on conscious, authentic desires rather than fear of judgment or a rigid sense of duty.
This process does not eliminate tough choices, but it can liberate one from the paralyzing guilt that often accompanies them. By understanding the mechanics of guilt as explained by experts like Maullika Sharma, professionals can strive for a more integrated and self-compassionate approach to managing their dual roles in career and family life.
